Grief is a natural response to loss, and it is a journey that unfolds in a unique way for each person. When we lose someone we love, the emotions that follow can be overwhelming and all-consuming. These feelings cannot be rushed; they need time to be fully experienced and processed. Grieving is a natural process that follows any significant loss, often accompanied by overwhelming emotions that require time and patience to work through.
As we mentioned before, no two people grieve the same way, but there are some general guidelines that can provide support and clarity during this difficult time. The do’s and don’ts of grieving as we like to call it.
Understanding the complexities of grieving
Before we jump into the two major lists of do’s and don’ts for grieving we need to have a look at what grief is actually like.
Grief is rarely a straightforward process. Intense feelings of sadness, confusion, or even guilt are common and natural. These emotions may resurface unexpectedly, triggered by memories or reminders, even months or years later.
Partners often face unique challenges, such as loneliness and reminders of what they’ve lost. Seeing couples or families together, whether in real life or on TV, can amplify the pain. Adjusting to a single lifestyle is a gradual process that requires patience and resilience. Partners
For some, seeing the deceased or attending the funeral can help confront the reality of the loss and provide an opportunity to say goodbye. Without this, regret may linger for years.
After the numbness fades, feelings of agitation, yearning, or restlessness often emerge. Sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating, or imagining the deceased in familiar places are common.
It’s also natural to feel anger or guilt—revisiting moments left unsaid or actions that might have changed the outcome. Remember, death is usually beyond anyone’s control.
The don’ts of grieving
Don’t hide your feelings. Grieving requires openness. Suppressing your emotions may delay healing, so try to express what you feel, even if it’s painful.
Don’t rush into a funeral. Unless cultural traditions require otherwise, take your time to plan a meaningful service. Don’t feel pressured into unnecessary expenses unless they align with your or the deceased’s wishes.
Don’t make major life changes. Grieving can cloud judgment. Avoid making big decisions like moving, changing jobs, or altering significant aspects of your life while emotions are still raw.
Don’t neglect your well-being. Grief can be physically draining, so prioritize proper nutrition, rest, and self-care.
Don’t rush into financial or legal commitments. Take time to fully understand any agreements before signing them to avoid future complications.
Don’t impose a timeline on your grief. There is no “normal” duration for the process of grieving. Allow yourself as much time as you need to process and heal.
Don’t let others dictate your pace. While it’s good to explore new activities, don’t let others pressure you into moving on before you feel ready.
The Do’s of grieving
Do express your emotions. Journaling, talking, or engaging in creative activities can help release and process feelings.
Do seek trusted support. Share your thoughts and experiences with family, close friends, or support groups. Sometimes, simply being heard can bring comfort.
Do reach out for professional help if needed. Hospital and voluntary organizations can provide resources and emotional support.
Do take care of yourself. Ensure you get adequate sleep, eat healthily, and give yourself time to recharge physically and emotionally.
Do plan for the future—but don’t rush it. Having long-term goals to look forward to can help, but avoid hastily making major changes to your life.
Do select a trustworthy funeral director. Choose someone who respects your wishes and can guide you through the process with care.
Do consult your doctor if you feel unwell. Whether it’s physical symptoms or emotional challenges, a doctor can provide assistance or recommend further support.
Do maintain connections. Friends and family often want to help but may not know how to offer their support. Reach out to them, even if it feels difficult.
Understanding the complexities of grief
Grieving is rarely a straightforward process. Intense feelings of sadness, confusion, or even guilt—particularly relief after a loved one’s passing—are common and natural. These emotions may resurface unexpectedly, triggered by memories or reminders, even months or years later.
Partners often face unique challenges, such as loneliness and reminders of what they’ve lost. Seeing couples or families together, whether in real life or on TV, can amplify the pain. Adjusting to a single lifestyle is a gradual process that requires patience and resilience.
For some, seeing the deceased or attending the funeral can help confront the reality of the loss and provide an opportunity to say goodbye. Without this, regret may linger for years. After the numbness fades, feelings of agitation, yearning, or restlessness often emerge. Sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating, or imagining the deceased in familiar places are common.
It’s also natural to feel anger or guilt—revisiting moments left unsaid or actions that might have changed the outcome. Remember, death is usually beyond anyone’s control. For additional support, refer to the care associations listed at the back of this booklet.
Moving forward
As time goes on, the acute pain of grief begins to lessen. Moments of sadness may persist, but they gradually make space for new memories and experiences. Mourning is not a linear process.
Most importantly, remember that grieving is personal. There is no “standard” way to cope with grief. Allow yourself the grace to grieve in the way that feels right for you. With time, support, and self-compassion, healing becomes possible.
If you're seeking support and guidance on coping with grief and managing the emotions that arise after the loss of a loved one, we invite you to visit our Guidance page. There, you'll find valuable resources and insights to help you navigate this difficult time.