Losing a loved one is an inevitable part of life, and for children, understanding and managing their emotions during this time can be particularly challenging. As adults, we have the responsibility to provide them with the support and guidance they need to process their feelings in a healthy way throughout the different stages of grief.
Encourage open conversations
Avoiding discussions about the loss does not make the pain disappear. On the contrary, silence can deepen suffering and create a sense of isolation.
There are different stages of grief, each involving a range of emotions such as anger, sadness, or guilt. Children need to feel safe expressing their feelings and asking questions about the loss.
Create an open, judgment-free space where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions. When they come to you, encourage them to talk about their memories, fears, and uncertainties. Listening with empathy helps them process their emotions and reassures them that their feelings are valid.
Be honest
When talking to your child about the loss of a loved one, it's important to be honest while considering their age and level of understanding. Use age-appropriate language to explain the situation.
Avoid phrases like “they went on a trip” or “they went to sleep forever,” which can create confusion or fear. Children take things literally, and such expressions might lead to a fear of sleep or separation anxiety. Instead, use clear, direct words that won’t cause misunderstandings.
Reassure them that they can always come to you with any new questions or worries as they continue to process their grief and understand all the different stages of grief.
Use books and stories
Imagination plays a key role in how children understand the world around them. Stories, animated movies, and books that address grief and loss can help them develop a deeper understanding.
Some great examples include:
- Movies: Up, Soul
- Books: The Invisible String (ages 3-7), Where Do Dreams Go? (ages 7-12), The Last Leaf (for teenagers).
After watching a movie or reading a book together, engage them in conversation. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to describe the story in their own words. Then, help them connect the fictional events to real-life situations, allowing them to express their feelings and gain a clearer understanding of loss.
Play and art as emotional outlets
Children often express emotions through play and creativity. Encourage them to draw, paint, or participate in creative activities that allow them to externalize their feelings.
You can do these activities together and, afterward, start a discussion about what they wanted to express. Play can also be a form of therapy, helping them act out emotions and process thoughts in a safe, imaginative space.
Seek professional help when needed
Grief is a natural process, but some children may struggle with overwhelming or prolonged emotions. If you notice persistent signs of distress, behavioral changes, or difficulties coping with the situation, consider seeking professional support. However, it’s important to ensure the child is comfortable with this decision.
Losing a loved one is an emotional challenge for anyone, and children need extra support to understand and navigate this painful experience.
Each child is unique, and the grieving process varies depending on their personality and age. The most important thing is to be there for them, offering patience, love, and reassurance that they are not alone during this difficult time.